Parenting 101: Attachment?!

Okay Ondrea this one is for you.
My H and I are newbies in the adoptive parent circle. Home now 6 months we still are learning the vast differences there are to parent a child that has spent the first 14 months of her life in an institution .We have read countless books and articles on the issues of attachment.But when it comes to your own real life situation sometimes the material seems like a foreign language. Over the boy's spring break we decided to take our first overnight trip to test the waters. The trip was for one night and we stayed in a hotel. Ava's world has been so routine and predictable since we have been home that we are guessing that this change of course has caused some strange new behaviors.
The trip was great and she did really well. She was a trouper in the car. Funny how sister immediately asks for the TV to be put on even before the engine starts! She slept right next to us in her pack and play. Did really well visiting with friends, discovered her love for barbie and never once left my side. We arrived back home the next night and proclaimed the trip to be a success or was it? Since being home she has been glued to my side. If someone comes up to her and wants to hold her she come up swinging! I know this is hard to imagine from such a sweet ,tiny ladybug but sister has found her niche in this family(my hip) and is not letting go. I go to walk and she is hooked onto my leg looking up at me saying "mama up!". We are kind of taken back by her "retreat " from independence.We recognize clingy behavior as a sign of attachment issues but are not sure what to do. Since being home we have returned to our normal schedule and have returned to our "small little world".Despite things are back to normal, I still have little miss monkey hooked to my hip and I am a little worried about what she must be feeling.Is she stressed about the change in routine? Has this raised some issues with abandonment? How long does this last? And finally what can we do to help? So O, if you are out there dust off those papers on attachment and give me your two cents. And to all of my other loyal readers (Michelle!) feel free to leave your ideas as well!
Signed Momma Monkey

Message to Princess Ana!

Dear Princess Ana,
Thank you so much for all of the great clothes and shoes! I love them! It looks like I won the toddler shoe lottery!
I cannot wait to meet you!
Your friend and fellow princess ,
Ava

Ava's New Look!

Here are a few shots of Vava's new glasses! I have to admit she is really cute in them! She has been so good about keeping them on. Now, we just have to make sure that Tex does not end up eating or wearing them!

Living on Faith

I read Ondrea's blog a few weeks ago and she quoted something that that has stuck in my mind. A friend ,Gwen, asked her "What are you doing today that is causing you to live on Faith?" I ask myself several times a day "What would Jesus do" but this puts a new spin on it.
There has been several times in my life when I have let go and relied so deeply on my faith. Each time he has carried me through some of the most difficult times and given me strength that I did not know that I had. I think that the adoption of our sweet girl was one of those events that caused me to live solely on faith. Although it can be scary to "let go" what a great feeling to know you are never alone. As with anyone who has been on the journey of adoption you will be forever changed by what you have experienced.I have asked myself what else can I do. I cannot think of a greater way to live your life on faith than to serve a orphan. I had posted a while back about a program through Adoption Ark called Happy Holiday Kid. This program allows you to choose a child and you send a card for 6 special calendar dates. We received a list of the most precious kiddos and we each selected one. It does not sound like much to us but just think how exciting that will be for a little kid who has nothing . They still have several kids left and are adding more to the list.I challenge each of you reading this to take a little time out to make a little orphans day brighter! What a great way to share your hope and faith to someone who has so little.
Ava is doing great ! She returned to the eye doctor and will need glasses.We noticed her eye was drifting a bit after we were home about 3 months. It is only doing it about 30% of the time. We have been working on doing some execises that involve dropping cherrios into a small container. This has helped but she has a slight astigmatism. I told myself that if that is the worst case senerio considering so many unknowns that we are truly blessed! Now, when they fitted her and she looked at me with that sweet little face I have to admit I had a big lump in my throat! Silly I know ! She is so sweet and will be so cute in her little pink frames. And yes, they are pink!
By the way take a look at Gwen's blog . The Oatsvall family is in the process of adopting Abigail and Joseph . She is selling t-shirts and tote bags to help defer the cost.I got a really cute T-shirt and what an awesome cause!
I will leave you with some photo's of Ms. VaVa on her first trip to the Zoo!And will post some photo's of the new glasses next week!
N

No blue dress ...but still a little devil!

The title says it all... but I will elaborate a bit ! I have been playing this song over and over in my head this week as I have watched our sweet girls transformation. Ava is a bit under the weather this week! We had the chicken pox immunization last week and I was warned that it could make her a bit irritable. But Dr. K did not warn me about the little horns that were going to spring forth out of those beautiful curly locks! We first noticed these horns when she took a toy and headed in for our sweet ECI caseworker knee. The smile that spread across her face as she ran off was sinister to say the least! I have to thank Jake for this demonstration of cause and effect. He usually has Ava push or swing at him and then he falls over laughing at the top of his lungs. Of coarse this causes her to go into the deepest giggle ! This giggle is one of those giggles that as a parent you know you should not laugh at but cannot help yourself.On top of the irritability from the shot, she has had a cold and a slight fever. Last night I woke up at 3:00 am and took her temp and gave her some more Gatorade. We rocked for a while and then I put her back in her bed. I then laid there and thought about how good Ava is at night. She is quite and stays in her bed.She is not being good she is just doing what she has been taught. Then I thought about all of the times she has been sick and no one came. That is a terrible thought that someone so little has been taught to be so self sufficient. When we visited her on both trips she had been hospitalized. The first trip she had been in the hospital for over a month.So I got back out of bed and Ava and I headed for the rocking chair. The rocking chair time is my favorite time with Ava. She just studies your face and softly strokes your cheek.Even though it was the middle of the night it was a great time to squeeze in a litte bonding and TLC! I am glad to say she has awoke this morning minus the fever and the horns!I will leave you with a photo of her and the powered donuts!
Word of advise: Never wear black when you serve white powered donuts to an 18 month old...plus you never can get away with sneeking a few bites yourself!
N

First Post Placement!

It is hard to imagine that it is already time for our first post placement report to Russia! Ava has been with us for four months now and it is remarkable to see the changes that have taken place in this little girl .She no longer is a baby. When we first brought Ava home my family was shocked at how little she was. She was wearing a size 6 months and it was big. I had even gone in and bought some onesies in a 3-6 months! She now is filling out and is wearing a 12 month size in most brands. When we first picked her up she weighted about 14 pounds ,Height 27 inches at 14 months old. Now at 18 months old she weights 18 pounds and is almost 30 inches. She eats great but is in constant motion! When kiddos hit the toddler stage they certainly can burn up the calories!She now is walking and into everything!Ava also has developed quite a vocabulary. She was not talking when we picked her up but now has a vocabulary of about 20-25 words.The only issue that has come about is her eye is wondering. She has been evaluted and we found that Ava has a slight stigmatism. The doctor said that we are going to recheck this in one month and then make the decision to wear glasses or eye surgery. If this is the worse case senrio we consider ourselves so lucky!!!! The lord has truly blessed me with a child that loves to wear glasses of anykind! So hopefully, if we need glasses she will leave them on!
We just finished our first post placement vist and our social worker was so pleased with Ava attachment to us. The social worker said Ava returning to me for saftey and comfort several times during the meeting was a great sign.Ava wanted to work on the blinds in her office . When we told her "no" she stuck her bottom lip out and got really sad. She headed right over to me ,crawled up in my arms and laid her head on my shoulder. She said that Ava attachment is really good for such a short time with us.As she could tell we are equally attached to our little girl. She showed S how she feeds her baby doll and then Ava would come and get back in my lap.It is such a great feeling to know that Ava feels secure with us . S told us that Ava must have had someone at the orphanage that she bonded with. She said this would make it easier for her to bond so quickly with us.She also said not to focus so much on the developmental side of this that focusing on the attachment side is so much more important. The other will follow.These are all things that we had read about in preparation for this adoption but it all feels quite surreal when it is your child. I was glad to hear that all of the staying home and keeping her world small is paying off. At times you can feel like you just need to escape the walls of the house. But I have learned that when you slow down a bit you see things that you did not notice before.Through this adoptin we have learned alot about parenting that we did not know before.
Well, thats all for now!If Ava needs glasses I hope they do not show her frames like these ! These are her favorites! We will be in serious trouble!
N

My name is Vava?

It is hard to believe that the holidays have come and gone! Once again it blew by so fast. Last year around the holidays we were so caught up in the paper chase and dreaming of our precious little girl. When I looked at her over the holidays it was hard to believe that she was sitting right here with us! What a great Christmas we had!Ava brings so much perspective everyday to my life but especially around the holidays.I spent a great deal of time thinking about all of the children that are left behind. I found a program through Adoption Ark that you select a child and send cards for their special occations. Just think how wonderful that would be to recieve a card on your special days from somewhere around the world. Just a little note to lift up their day and let them know that someone cares.For a child that has nothing this could be life changing.Please check this program out. I cannot think of a better way to start out the new year!!!!
Ava is doing so great!She is learning new words everyday. She has all of the basic mama, dada, but when asked what her name is she calls herself Vava! I think we will leave her name Ava on the birth certificate for now. She is continuing to make great progress on outings and defintely becomming more comfortable with large groups of people.We still are continuing to keep her world small. She is happiest when at home surrounded by familiar faces and things. She has been home with us for almost four months now and the changes that we see are so incrediable.Ava now looks for us for comfort when she is hurt. She also is developing a healthy fear of strangers and looking for mom and dad. These are all such good signs of attachment.She defintely has a determined spirit . Some might refer to this as stuborness but I think determination sounds so much better! She is a girl that knows what she wants . Like the pink tutu that Ana sent her. Ava believes that it goes with everything! In fact she will led you all the way upstairs,hand it to you and lay down for you to put it on her. Then she wants to be chaferred all over the house in her dolls stroller with it on! Go figure! She must think she is some sort of Princess!... I wonder where she got that idea?!?!I am posting a couple of photos of the tutu princess in action. As you can tell she was not to fond of the bicycle helmet! She thought it was okay after we got moving.I am also posting two photos of Ava in the same outfit. One was taken our first week home the second taken almost 4 months home! We barely fit the little hotdog in the outfit!
N