We have a running joke in the house now that I am momma bird and this house has become my bird cage. As an adoptive parent you read how the best thing to do is to keep your new child's world small. This gives the children time to bond with their new family. Also a child that has not known anything beyond the walls of that orphanage this new big world can be nothing short of overwhelming. So baby bird and I have been in our bird cage bonding and getting to know each other.Within the 8 months of being home Ava has bonded with us beyond our wildest dreams. A child that at first would cringe when you leaned in to kiss her now gives the sweetest kisses ever imaginable. She has made great strides developmentally as well. When we first picked up Ava she was not walking or talking. Now she has been walking for 6 months . Her speech is a little slower. As a family we have teamed up to cater to her every need and whim. That said my baby bird knows anyone of her flock will come running and give her whatever she wants. There is pros and cons to this ! Pros are she knows that she belongs to a family that loves and cares for her in a way she never had before. Cons are that she can let out a scream, grunt or just point and the world is hers!!!! She is somewhere between a group of words that gets her by and occasionally combining a few sentences. We definitely were not surprised that her 6 month evaluation for ECI revealed that she developmentally at 21 months is more at the level of a 17 month old.Our case worker feels that Ava has made great progress and will continue to do so.We are incredibly proud of her accomplishments and are in awe of her determination.
Today we ventured out of our bird cage and had our first official play date with the neighborhood playgroup. We live in a great family neighborhood . We have a slash pad with sprayers and fountains for the kids to run through. Ava is the youngest in the group of kiddos. I have seen her play with kids that are older but have not seen her interaction with someone that is her age. I have to say I was a little taken back. She definitely was the smallest but that is always the case. Ava is still not on the charts for her weight despite she eats really good. She had a slow start at 4.4 lbs. and now is running everywhere. So she is gaining weight at a steady pace but we are stilling trying to catch up for lost time! Anyone that knows me says Ava's fits great with me because I am little too! So, we are not expecting Ava to be a wrestler on her highschool wrestling team! And we are really okay with that!So ,she looked at all those kids running around and she was not sure what she was supposed to do. She would bring the beach balls around to the grown ups .She shared really well. I was a bit worried about this due to her exposure to her brothers giving in to her every request. She approached a few of the younger kids but I caught her looking at some of the older boys. She would go up to each one and study their faces. She was looking for her bubba, Jake. I felt bad for her because what she has known up till now has been our little family and she seemed a little lost today. Joining this playgroup will be a great thing for her socially, developmentally and emotionally.So as we drive home I feel this overwhelming sadness . The sadness is not for me because I am blessed with this unbelievable little girl that has changed my life in so many ways .I am so sad for all that she missed in the beginning of her little life. I am reminded today of all that she never had for that first year.It is a bitter little pill to swallow.One that I do not like to think about but the tears caught me off guard today. When we got home we had lunch .As I was feeding Ava she took my hand and gently kissed the palm of my hand and gave me the sweetest smile. As if to say "it is going to be okay Momma".
My baby bird continues to teach me lessons each and everyday.She is truly heaven sent. Parenting a child that has been institutionalized is not always the easiest job. A day does not go by that you do not ask yourself am I doing everything that I can for them. At times I feel like I am a first time mom because not everything that I did for the boys will work with Ava. But that sweet little kiss and smiling blue eyes was just the reassurance that I needed today.
Now ,I am going to put up the kleenex and end this post with a lighter note! We appreciate you all joining us in a moment of silence. We are morning the loss of our maid service! This was my contribution to the budget. I will be contributing a portion to our adoption fund . I cannot think of a better motivation to break out the old feather duster!In the mean time, pray that the family is not all overcome by the scary dust bunnies!
Have a great weekend!
N
